Monday, November 20, 2006
Dear Theo,
When I got to the NICU today around 11:20, there was a meeting going on in the room you are in so I couldn't see you right away. Instead I went and waited in the lounge with all of the other mothers. They were talking about crying and trying not to cry in front of the nurses in the NICU. One mother told the story of how she arrived one day only to find that the nurse had already fed her son. She explained how she had to hold back tears while at the same time she was thinking "you bitch".
It was nice to be around these mothers who I could relate to because they were going through the same thing I was. The part I couldn't relate to was when they were talking about their husbands not understanding why they were crying so much. I guess I am lucky that way because your dad is so supportive and he completely understands why I am so emotional and he accepts it.
When I did finally get in to see you, you breastfed 15 cc's. Then 10 cc's at 2:30 p.m. Then to my utmost surprise and delight at 5:30 p.m. you breastfed 30 cc's! I couldn't believe it! I was so proud of you - what an accomplishment!
For the first time driving home I actually felt a little happy. I couldn't wait to get home and tell your dad. What a big step for you! Considering the fact that you only take in a total of 42 cc's per feed, 30 is a significant improvement from the 10-15 you were taking in. Now I actually feel very hopeful about the future - my goal is that you will be able to come home with us on the weekend of December 2-3 and now that goal actually feels like it is attainable!
Love,
mommy
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