Sunday, November 19, 2006
Dear Theo,
I went to Francesca's baby shower today. Everyone was so surprised to see me. Of course everyone asked how you were doing, how long you would be in the hospital for and how I was doing. I told them my "labour story" too. Alana told me about how she had had postpartum depression and she said she understood how I felt. But I think that our situations are very different. I have no idea what it is like to have postpartum depression - my heart goes out to all the mothers who had or still have to deal with this. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for them. My situation is difficult for a different reason. I know that I am only sad because you aren't with me and I miss you terribly and that that sadness will disappear the minute you are home with me. I did tell everyone that this has been the hardest part, being away from you, and that I would have gladly gone through another 32 hours of labour if it meant having you home with me.
After everything I went through with the pregnancy and the long labour, it is the worst feeling leaving the hospital without one's baby. When I think of all the times that I have cried, or the way my heart aches all the time - unless someone has gone through it or is going through it, it is hard for others to understand what it is like.
I left the shower at about 2:30. In some ways it was hard to be there, surrounded by happy people when I am feeling so sad, so incomplete. When I got home Deb, Lisa and the kids showed up with a bunch of food for daddy and I. The boys also made us snowflakes and they each bought you a gift - a little stuffed lamb and a really cute outfit. It was so sweet of all of them. I am truly blessed to have such good friends!
After your father got home we headed to the hospital to visit you. During my first attempt of the day at breastfeeding, you were sucking so strong that it hurt to use the breast shield, so I tried without it. It seemed like you were doing a good job but then when we weighed you there was no change. I was so disheartened. When Joe and I left for the break, I was so upset. I felt like a failure. It is difficult because I want so much to bring you home and I know that it is dependent on you feeding successfully.
Your dad and I had a real heart-to-heart and he told me that when he comes to the hospital, most of the time he feels useless. It was nice to share things with him. I think he is the only one I can talk to who truly understands what I am going through, because he is going through it too.
After the break, your daddy and I gave you a bath.Your dad let me do most of it this time since I was having such a hard day. The two of us ended up having a pretty good laugh because you basically slept through the whole thing! While I was washing your hair you looked so content. It was almost like you were at a salon getting your hair done. I have now decided to nickname you my little sleepy man because you seem to be an expert at sleeping through anything!
For your next feed I decided to use the breast shield again and this time you got 15 cc's so I was happy about that. It made for a much better end to the day. I hope you sleep well tonight my little sleepy man.
Love,
mommy
Theo is 5 years old now and he still has that lamb, which we appropriately named "Lamb". He is a little bit tattered looking but he still sleeps in Theo's room watching over him every night.
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Monday, 28 November 2011
Letters to Theo - November 18, 2006
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Dear Theo,
I made the trip to the hospital alone today. Your dad stayed home to clean the house and work on your room. Basically I just showed up to breastfeed. I was lucky though because when I first got there all the breastfeeding areas (a small room with chairs partitioned by curtains for privacy) were full so I just sat in a rocker and held you close to me.
The day went pretty much the same as most days. I breastfed you and then afterwards I hung out in the hospital lobby until it was time to breastfeed you again. I've started to realize that I feel somewhat unwanted when I'm in the NICU. I had a really good talk tonight with my midwife, Jenn, about it. While there are some really great nurses who work in the NICU, there are also some who are basically just there to do their jobs and I think these nurses forget just how hard it is emotionally for mothers to have their children in the NICU.
This afternoon I had packed the fridge with milk and the nurse responsible for you said to me somewhat condescendingly "Mrs. Fletcher, I think we need to introduce you to the freezer." I told her I already had milk in the freezer and she said there was more than enough milk to get you through the night. I felt so uncomfortable that I didn't say anything - though I was thinking about the fact that I wouldn't be back until the 5:30 p.m. feed the next day. Later, when I left and told this same nurse when I would be back tomorrow, she looked kind of surprised (perhaps she realized her earlier mistake or maybe that's just wishful thinking).
I think having you in the hospital has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. When I go to the NICU I feel like I can't be myself. I often feel like I am being judged. It's hard sometimes to not feel like a failure as a mother.
When I think about it - it's interesting that in order to leave the NICU, we have to go through a bunking in test. This involves the two of us staying in one of the NICU's special overnight rooms together and I am completely responsible for you. But in order to 'pass' the test, you have to do well at each of your feedings and subsequent weighings. I wonder if mothers of full term babies have to go through a similar test?? Probably not.
The times I most look forward to are the times when I breastfeed you because I get to be alone with you. Those are the times when I shut out the rest of the world and I just enjoy being with you and being your mom. You are so very precious to me.
Love,
mommy
Dear Theo,
I made the trip to the hospital alone today. Your dad stayed home to clean the house and work on your room. Basically I just showed up to breastfeed. I was lucky though because when I first got there all the breastfeeding areas (a small room with chairs partitioned by curtains for privacy) were full so I just sat in a rocker and held you close to me.
The day went pretty much the same as most days. I breastfed you and then afterwards I hung out in the hospital lobby until it was time to breastfeed you again. I've started to realize that I feel somewhat unwanted when I'm in the NICU. I had a really good talk tonight with my midwife, Jenn, about it. While there are some really great nurses who work in the NICU, there are also some who are basically just there to do their jobs and I think these nurses forget just how hard it is emotionally for mothers to have their children in the NICU.
This afternoon I had packed the fridge with milk and the nurse responsible for you said to me somewhat condescendingly "Mrs. Fletcher, I think we need to introduce you to the freezer." I told her I already had milk in the freezer and she said there was more than enough milk to get you through the night. I felt so uncomfortable that I didn't say anything - though I was thinking about the fact that I wouldn't be back until the 5:30 p.m. feed the next day. Later, when I left and told this same nurse when I would be back tomorrow, she looked kind of surprised (perhaps she realized her earlier mistake or maybe that's just wishful thinking).
I think having you in the hospital has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. When I go to the NICU I feel like I can't be myself. I often feel like I am being judged. It's hard sometimes to not feel like a failure as a mother.
When I think about it - it's interesting that in order to leave the NICU, we have to go through a bunking in test. This involves the two of us staying in one of the NICU's special overnight rooms together and I am completely responsible for you. But in order to 'pass' the test, you have to do well at each of your feedings and subsequent weighings. I wonder if mothers of full term babies have to go through a similar test?? Probably not.
The times I most look forward to are the times when I breastfeed you because I get to be alone with you. Those are the times when I shut out the rest of the world and I just enjoy being with you and being your mom. You are so very precious to me.
Love,
mommy
WILT #8
While this is not a new song, it is one of my favourites. It actually makes me think of my hubby. He is a FIFA assistant referee and therefore travels a lot. He's done tons of Major League Soccer games and he's been to the Gold Cup and the Under 20 World Cup...and yes, the next step is hopefully the World Cup! He loves being an AR and has got to ref some exciting games and meet some popular players - including one of his favourites, Theirry Henry (and yes, Beckham too). It is exciting for him, less exciting for me who doesn't get to travel with him. But I know that he couldn't do what he does if it weren't for me being here taking care of our boys. So whenever I hear this song, I can almost picture him singing these words to me "Cuz the spotlight ain't nothing without you girl..." and I know it's the truth.
Here's Gucci Mane featuring Usher with 'Spotlight'
Here's Gucci Mane featuring Usher with 'Spotlight'
Saturday, 26 November 2011
Letters to Theo - November 17, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Dear Theo,
Your dad decided to come to the hospital with me again today. I was really thankful that he did. It was nice to have his support. He asked all the questions that I wanted answers to - like how long you will be in the incubator (the nurses take their cues from you). We also found out that once you are given the okay to leave the hospital, basically you have to leave on that day. Your dad is concerned because in a couple weeks he will be away at a course for a week. I don`t think you will be released that week, but just in case you are ready, we need to make sure that someone can drive the two of us home from the hospital. We`ll probably ask Jenn.
It just felt a lot better today thanks to your dad being there. We had a good laugh today too - while we were changing your diaper you managed to get both of us `wet`. The two of us just laughed through it, because we went through 3 different diapers. Your dad thought it was especially funny since you only peed on him last night.
Today was also bath day. Your dad stepped up to the plate and he did such a good job and you didn`t really cry either. I took pictures of your first bath with us - your dad calls them blackmail photos.
Overall it was a pretty good day. I love the times when the three of us get to spend time together.
Love,
mommy
Dear Theo,
Your dad decided to come to the hospital with me again today. I was really thankful that he did. It was nice to have his support. He asked all the questions that I wanted answers to - like how long you will be in the incubator (the nurses take their cues from you). We also found out that once you are given the okay to leave the hospital, basically you have to leave on that day. Your dad is concerned because in a couple weeks he will be away at a course for a week. I don`t think you will be released that week, but just in case you are ready, we need to make sure that someone can drive the two of us home from the hospital. We`ll probably ask Jenn.
It just felt a lot better today thanks to your dad being there. We had a good laugh today too - while we were changing your diaper you managed to get both of us `wet`. The two of us just laughed through it, because we went through 3 different diapers. Your dad thought it was especially funny since you only peed on him last night.
Today was also bath day. Your dad stepped up to the plate and he did such a good job and you didn`t really cry either. I took pictures of your first bath with us - your dad calls them blackmail photos.
Overall it was a pretty good day. I love the times when the three of us get to spend time together.
Love,
mommy
Friday, 25 November 2011
Home Renos - Tear the Roof Off!
It started Tuesday when they delivered the dumpster.
I never thought I would get excited about seeing a dumpster in my driveway, but yes, there I was feeling the slight fluttering of anticipation. To you a dumpster, to me, one step closer to my bigger closet!
Wednesday at 8:30 is when the actual work began. We had cleaned out our garage prior to this. Basically they started by tearing down a lot of the siding. Not terribly exciting from the outside (unless you are 2 and 5 like my boys), but progress is progress.
And they took out the ceiling in the garage.
We also learned on Wednesday that we would need to empty out our dining room and since Joe was going to be getting on a flight late Wednesday night and not returning until Sunday night, that meant we didn't have much time to get it done!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
If your dining room is like mine, then you know this is no small feat. I have a hutch that is filled with all our wine glasses, champagne flutes, tea cups, china and glass vases...all of which had to be carefully taken out and temporarily put on our kitchen table while we moved the hutch and then carefully put back in. We also had to find places for all of the dining room furniture - the hutch is now in our kitchen, the dining room table and chairs are in the basement and our buffet and large plant are in the living room. (Needless to say, I do not plan on entertaining for the next little while) The one saving grace is that when we first got our furniture we put those felt patches on the bottom of the legs, thus making it easy to slide them along the floor. Once the dining room was empty, any sound made in or around there echoed - my boys were totally digging that.
So I was out for most of the day on Thursday and it was dark when the boys and I returned home. But even in the dark I could see the major work that had been done - we no longer had our peaked roof over the garage and front entrance. However, it was still quite a shock when I opened the door leading into the garage, looked up and saw stars! Yup, they had torn down the roof!
Tomorrow, I heard a rumour that they are taking out the dining room ceiling - eek!
I never thought I would get excited about seeing a dumpster in my driveway, but yes, there I was feeling the slight fluttering of anticipation. To you a dumpster, to me, one step closer to my bigger closet!
Wednesday at 8:30 is when the actual work began. We had cleaned out our garage prior to this. Basically they started by tearing down a lot of the siding. Not terribly exciting from the outside (unless you are 2 and 5 like my boys), but progress is progress.
 |
| The side of our house after Day 1 |
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| The front of our house after Day 1 And yes, our builder's name really is 'Bobby the Builder' |
We also learned on Wednesday that we would need to empty out our dining room and since Joe was going to be getting on a flight late Wednesday night and not returning until Sunday night, that meant we didn't have much time to get it done!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
If your dining room is like mine, then you know this is no small feat. I have a hutch that is filled with all our wine glasses, champagne flutes, tea cups, china and glass vases...all of which had to be carefully taken out and temporarily put on our kitchen table while we moved the hutch and then carefully put back in. We also had to find places for all of the dining room furniture - the hutch is now in our kitchen, the dining room table and chairs are in the basement and our buffet and large plant are in the living room. (Needless to say, I do not plan on entertaining for the next little while) The one saving grace is that when we first got our furniture we put those felt patches on the bottom of the legs, thus making it easy to slide them along the floor. Once the dining room was empty, any sound made in or around there echoed - my boys were totally digging that.
So I was out for most of the day on Thursday and it was dark when the boys and I returned home. But even in the dark I could see the major work that had been done - we no longer had our peaked roof over the garage and front entrance. However, it was still quite a shock when I opened the door leading into the garage, looked up and saw stars! Yup, they had torn down the roof!
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| Another view from inside the garage |
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| This is the view in the morning of the side of our house after Day 2 |
 |
| This is the view from inside the garage in the morning |
Today was Day 3 and the workers spent the day rebuilding the ceiling to our garage (and I guess technically the floor to our upstairs bedroom). 
Tomorrow, I heard a rumour that they are taking out the dining room ceiling - eek!
Thursday, 24 November 2011
TBT #6
Mr. Mister was the first concert I ever went to. I think I was about 11 at the time and I went with my older brother who was 13. (yes, it seems we had very trusting parents back then)
'Kyrie' was of course one of my favourite songs of theirs. (I also really liked 'Broken Wings') Funny though, after all these years, it is only now that I have learned what 'kyrie eleison' actually means. It is Greek for 'Lord, have mercy'. Huh.
'Kyrie' was of course one of my favourite songs of theirs. (I also really liked 'Broken Wings') Funny though, after all these years, it is only now that I have learned what 'kyrie eleison' actually means. It is Greek for 'Lord, have mercy'. Huh.
I'm sure as you were reading about how this was my first ever concert experience, you probably flashed back to your own first ever concert experience, and so I'm curious who did you go see for your first concert? (and feel free to share by commenting on this post)
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
The New - Week 4 (Waxing)
I had no idea whether or not my next New thing was going to be painful or not.
It seems like it should be, what with the ripping out of hair and all.
But I was ready for anything.
Plus in preparation for the big event I had not shaved my legs in a couple of weeks. I was hoping to get some great 'before' pictures, but I'll be honest and say I don't have any. My legs don't actually get super hairy and what hair they do get is so light that you can hardly even see it, so it was basically impossible to get a good photo. You will just have to take my word for it that my legs were indeed a tiny forest.
So, armed with super hairy legs, I headed off to get...
WAXED!
Yes, I can honestly say I have never had anything waxed before. And it's not because I think it's going to hurt, it's more the fact that I don't tend to get very hairy so I never saw a huge need for it. But of course I was curious, so I had to try it at least once!
I'm also lucky enough to have a friend who is an expert at this sort of thing! Her name is Helen and she has her own part-time business called Mi Casa Esthetics. She was thoroughly impressed by the fact that I have never waxed anything before and thinks that my hairless legs should last for quite a while since I am a 'newbie'.
For those of you who have never taken the plunge - here's a breakdown for you. First Helen applied this special blue liquid to my leg which is supposed to help your hair come out easier. Next she spread the hot wax on the front of my leg, applied the strip and pulled. This was also the part where I was supposed to say 'ouch' but in truth I didn't find it to be all that painful (but then I was only doing my legs and not more sensitive areas).
She did the tops of both legs, then the knees, then the backs of my legs. And after she was done she put some moisturizing oil on them. Pretty quick and pretty simple.
And can I just say wow, do my legs ever feel smooth! (again, you will just have to take my word for it) I wonder just how long they will stay this way. Any guesses as to how many days of smoothness I have ahead of me?
It seems like it should be, what with the ripping out of hair and all.
But I was ready for anything.
Plus in preparation for the big event I had not shaved my legs in a couple of weeks. I was hoping to get some great 'before' pictures, but I'll be honest and say I don't have any. My legs don't actually get super hairy and what hair they do get is so light that you can hardly even see it, so it was basically impossible to get a good photo. You will just have to take my word for it that my legs were indeed a tiny forest.
So, armed with super hairy legs, I headed off to get...
WAXED!
Yes, I can honestly say I have never had anything waxed before. And it's not because I think it's going to hurt, it's more the fact that I don't tend to get very hairy so I never saw a huge need for it. But of course I was curious, so I had to try it at least once!
I'm also lucky enough to have a friend who is an expert at this sort of thing! Her name is Helen and she has her own part-time business called Mi Casa Esthetics. She was thoroughly impressed by the fact that I have never waxed anything before and thinks that my hairless legs should last for quite a while since I am a 'newbie'.
For those of you who have never taken the plunge - here's a breakdown for you. First Helen applied this special blue liquid to my leg which is supposed to help your hair come out easier. Next she spread the hot wax on the front of my leg, applied the strip and pulled. This was also the part where I was supposed to say 'ouch' but in truth I didn't find it to be all that painful (but then I was only doing my legs and not more sensitive areas).
She did the tops of both legs, then the knees, then the backs of my legs. And after she was done she put some moisturizing oil on them. Pretty quick and pretty simple.
And can I just say wow, do my legs ever feel smooth! (again, you will just have to take my word for it) I wonder just how long they will stay this way. Any guesses as to how many days of smoothness I have ahead of me?
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Letters to Theo - November 16, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Dear Theo,
I got up bright and early this morning so that I could go see you and feed you at 8:30. It was nice being there that early because it wasn`t so hectic. I stayed at the hospital until almost 4 pm, which meant I got to feed you 3 times. Even though you only get about 5 or 10 cc`s each time (you tend to fall asleep pretty quickly). I cherish the times I get to feed you because it`s just the two of us and it gives us a chance to bond. Mostly I just love to look at you. It is overwhelming how much I love you.
I got to meet some of the other NICU mothers today. One of them was a mother of twins born at 31 weeks on October 6. Another mother had a little girl born around the same time but at 29 weeks. It was shocking to think that they had been doing this for over a month. I`ve only been doing it for about a week and it`s been hard enough. I have a whole new respect for mothers of preemies. Emotionally it is very difficult dealing with being separated from your child.
After dinner your dad and I headed back to the hospital. While we were there, one of the nurses was telling your dad that it was surprising that you are nursing at all considering how young you are. After we left the hospital I felt so confused. I was getting so many mixed messages. On the one hand, some of the nurses think that you are doing really well. On the other, some of the nurses give me the impression that you should be doing better. It`s very frustrating for me, because I don`t want to be pushing you too much. I don`t want to feel like I`m forcing you to breastfeed if you`re not ready. I just want to do the right thing. I just want to be a good mom.
Love,
mommy
Dear Theo,
I got up bright and early this morning so that I could go see you and feed you at 8:30. It was nice being there that early because it wasn`t so hectic. I stayed at the hospital until almost 4 pm, which meant I got to feed you 3 times. Even though you only get about 5 or 10 cc`s each time (you tend to fall asleep pretty quickly). I cherish the times I get to feed you because it`s just the two of us and it gives us a chance to bond. Mostly I just love to look at you. It is overwhelming how much I love you.
I got to meet some of the other NICU mothers today. One of them was a mother of twins born at 31 weeks on October 6. Another mother had a little girl born around the same time but at 29 weeks. It was shocking to think that they had been doing this for over a month. I`ve only been doing it for about a week and it`s been hard enough. I have a whole new respect for mothers of preemies. Emotionally it is very difficult dealing with being separated from your child.
After dinner your dad and I headed back to the hospital. While we were there, one of the nurses was telling your dad that it was surprising that you are nursing at all considering how young you are. After we left the hospital I felt so confused. I was getting so many mixed messages. On the one hand, some of the nurses think that you are doing really well. On the other, some of the nurses give me the impression that you should be doing better. It`s very frustrating for me, because I don`t want to be pushing you too much. I don`t want to feel like I`m forcing you to breastfeed if you`re not ready. I just want to do the right thing. I just want to be a good mom.
Love,
mommy
Monday, 21 November 2011
WILT #7
"Kiss Me Slowly"
The title says it all.
I just love this song. It is simply sweet.
Something you should know about me...I am a hopeless romantic. Not the flowers and the chocolates and all that stuff...but the little things. To me there is nothing quite so romantic as soft lingering kisses. Or holding hands as you walk. Or someone saying "Stay with me"
It's like when two people who belong together get their happy ending. Yes, I'm a sucker for happy endings...be it a book, movie (or real life)...no matter what trials and tribulations the main characters experience along the way, no matter what keeps them apart, in the end they need to wind up together and yes, live happily ever after.
So, this song is for all those who believe in true love (even if you are too cool to admit it).
The title says it all.
I just love this song. It is simply sweet.
Something you should know about me...I am a hopeless romantic. Not the flowers and the chocolates and all that stuff...but the little things. To me there is nothing quite so romantic as soft lingering kisses. Or holding hands as you walk. Or someone saying "Stay with me"
It's like when two people who belong together get their happy ending. Yes, I'm a sucker for happy endings...be it a book, movie (or real life)...no matter what trials and tribulations the main characters experience along the way, no matter what keeps them apart, in the end they need to wind up together and yes, live happily ever after.
So, this song is for all those who believe in true love (even if you are too cool to admit it).
Sunday, 20 November 2011
The New - Week 3 (Cooking artichokes)
Artichokes.
So I actually can't say I have never eaten an artichoke because I have. But it's always been in something (like a pasta dish) or part of an antipasto plate. I've always been curious to try making an artichoke from 'scratch'. So, this week my something New is to prepare and cook a raw artichoke. I even have Joe and my friend Kelly to use as my tasting guinea pigs!
Now, as funny as it sounds, one of the hardest parts of this whole artichoke thing was actually finding an artichoke! I went to 4 different grocery stores before I found one! I wonder if the checkout lady thought it was strange that that was all I bought?
So, I have the artichoke (2 of them actually) and the next step is to do a little Internet research since I have no idea how you are supposed to cook up these suckers. I found a great site (http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/how_to_cook_and_eat_an_artichoke/) with an article entitled "How to Cook and Eat an Artichoke" (hmmm...we may be on to something...).
Let's start with the 'Cooking' part:
Step 1: If the artichokes have little thorns on the end of the leaves, take kitchen scissors and cut of the thorned tips of all of the leaves. (yes, I realized the thorns part early on at the grocery store after pricking myself several times and can I just say 'ouch' - I'm hoping it's not their way of saying 'please don't eat us')
2. Slice about 3/4 inch to an inch off the tip of the artichoke. Done.
3. Pull off any smaller leaves towards the base and on the stem. Also done.
4. Cut excess stem, leaving up to an inch on the artichoke. The stems tend to be more bitter than the rest of the artichoke, but some people like to eat them. Alternatively you can cut off the stems and peel the outside layers which is more fibrous and bitter and cook the stems along with the artichokes. I read the word 'bitter' and opted just to hack off the excess stem. So far this has been pretty easy.
5. Rinse the artichokes in running cold water. Brrr!
6. In a large pot, put a couple inches of water, a clove of garlic, a slice of lemon, and a bay leaf (this adds wonderful flavor to the artichokes). Insert a steaming basket. Add the artichokes. Cover. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to simmer. Cook for 25 to 45 minutes or until the outer leaves can easily be pulled off. Ya, so I don't actually have any garlic cloves since we buy the Costco tub of minced garlic but I did put some of that in. Lemon - check. Bay leaf - check. Water in the pot with a steamer - check. Put the artichokes in and cover the pot. Boil the water and then reduce the heat. And...the waiting begins.
25 minutes later - Done!
Now for the 'Eating' part:
1. Pull off outer petals, one at a time.
2. Dip white fleshy end in melted butter or sauce. Tightly grip the other end of the petal. Place in mouth, dip side down, and pull through teeth to remove soft, pulpy, delicious portion of the petal. Discard remaining petal. Continue until all of the petals are removed.
3. With a knife or spoon, scrape out and discard the inedible fuzzy part (called the "choke") covering the artichoke heart. The remaining bottom of the artichoke is the heart. Cut into pieces and dip into sauce to eat. Huh. There really is a fuzzy part and it sort of reminds of some very miniaturized space alien. I removed the fuzzy bits with a spoon and then I cut up what was left and soaked it in butter.
Conclusion:
Joe: "The happiness to effort ratio is far too low to justify eating this on any kind of basis...let alone a regular one."
Me: "What did you think of it Kelly?"
Kelly: "It's good..."
Joe: "My quote's better." (very mature Joe)
Kelly: "I wasn't finished! It was good but I think for me there was too much butter on it."
Joe (final quote): "I now realize why Artichoke is an ingredient in a dip, rather than something people eat alone"
I thought the heart part was quite tasty (but really there isn't a lot of it). So it may not have been a huge hit with my guinea pigs, but at least now I can cross it off my 'New' list!
So I actually can't say I have never eaten an artichoke because I have. But it's always been in something (like a pasta dish) or part of an antipasto plate. I've always been curious to try making an artichoke from 'scratch'. So, this week my something New is to prepare and cook a raw artichoke. I even have Joe and my friend Kelly to use as my tasting guinea pigs!
Now, as funny as it sounds, one of the hardest parts of this whole artichoke thing was actually finding an artichoke! I went to 4 different grocery stores before I found one! I wonder if the checkout lady thought it was strange that that was all I bought?
So, I have the artichoke (2 of them actually) and the next step is to do a little Internet research since I have no idea how you are supposed to cook up these suckers. I found a great site (http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/how_to_cook_and_eat_an_artichoke/) with an article entitled "How to Cook and Eat an Artichoke" (hmmm...we may be on to something...).
Let's start with the 'Cooking' part:
Step 1: If the artichokes have little thorns on the end of the leaves, take kitchen scissors and cut of the thorned tips of all of the leaves. (yes, I realized the thorns part early on at the grocery store after pricking myself several times and can I just say 'ouch' - I'm hoping it's not their way of saying 'please don't eat us')
2. Slice about 3/4 inch to an inch off the tip of the artichoke. Done.
3. Pull off any smaller leaves towards the base and on the stem. Also done.
4. Cut excess stem, leaving up to an inch on the artichoke. The stems tend to be more bitter than the rest of the artichoke, but some people like to eat them. Alternatively you can cut off the stems and peel the outside layers which is more fibrous and bitter and cook the stems along with the artichokes. I read the word 'bitter' and opted just to hack off the excess stem. So far this has been pretty easy.
5. Rinse the artichokes in running cold water. Brrr!
6. In a large pot, put a couple inches of water, a clove of garlic, a slice of lemon, and a bay leaf (this adds wonderful flavor to the artichokes). Insert a steaming basket. Add the artichokes. Cover. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to simmer. Cook for 25 to 45 minutes or until the outer leaves can easily be pulled off. Ya, so I don't actually have any garlic cloves since we buy the Costco tub of minced garlic but I did put some of that in. Lemon - check. Bay leaf - check. Water in the pot with a steamer - check. Put the artichokes in and cover the pot. Boil the water and then reduce the heat. And...the waiting begins.
25 minutes later - Done!
Now for the 'Eating' part:
1. Pull off outer petals, one at a time.
2. Dip white fleshy end in melted butter or sauce. Tightly grip the other end of the petal. Place in mouth, dip side down, and pull through teeth to remove soft, pulpy, delicious portion of the petal. Discard remaining petal. Continue until all of the petals are removed.
My guinea pigs - Joe and Kelly - trying the artichoke.
Kelly quote: "How do you eat this thing? How much of the leaf are you supposed to eat?"
Joe quote for this whole artichoke eating process: "Who the hell put in this much work to figure that out? And how hungry were they?"
We realized after eating about 20 leaves that there are quite a few leaves on an artichoke and really not a lot of 'meat' on them. We were kinda curious to get to the next part so I basically peeled off the remaining leaves (not an easy process given that the leaves got hotter the more I peeled) so that all we had left was the bottom part.
Conclusion:
Joe: "The happiness to effort ratio is far too low to justify eating this on any kind of basis...let alone a regular one."
Me: "What did you think of it Kelly?"
Kelly: "It's good..."
Joe: "My quote's better." (very mature Joe)
Kelly: "I wasn't finished! It was good but I think for me there was too much butter on it."
Joe (final quote): "I now realize why Artichoke is an ingredient in a dip, rather than something people eat alone"
I thought the heart part was quite tasty (but really there isn't a lot of it). So it may not have been a huge hit with my guinea pigs, but at least now I can cross it off my 'New' list!
Friday, 18 November 2011
Letters to Theo - November 14, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Dear Theo,
Your dad joined me on the trip to see you today. When we got there, the nurse showed us how to bathe you. You were not a happy camper having your bath. You screamed through a lot of it. You have a very distinct cry - high pitched and squeaky.
Your dad also changed his first diaper today. He did such a good job and I was very proud of him (and yes I would like to encourage this behaviour). When it comes to you, he is very hands on. He is going to be a wonderful dad. Seeing the two of you together, seeing how much he loves you, it takes my breath away. He is the one person who I don't feel any sort of jealousy towards when he holds you. Ever since you were born and we realized that you would have to stay in the hospital I have been having a hard time sharing you. I want so much to feel bonded to you, to feel like your mom, but so often I feel like I'm on the outside, like I only get to be your mom part time. When your grandma came to visit on Saturday it was a little hard to watch her hold you the whole time. I just wanted to hold you myself since we have so little time with you. It's for that reason that your dad and I have decided that when we bring you home we are going to shut out the rest of the world for a week to give the three of us time to bond and get used to being a family. I'm looking forward to that week. I'm looking forward to that day when we can finally bring you home...even though I know that it is still a couple of weeks away.
Daddy and I took a bunch of pictures of you in your new outfit today. You look so cute in your little hat, even though it barely fits around your head.
After our visit with you, we went out for dinner with your Uncle Dave. I can tell that your uncle is absolutely thrilled to have you for a nephew! One day you will get to meet him yourself. There are a lot of people who are dieing to see you. Your dad is proud because you are the first JLA baby. (JLA stands for Justice League of America and is a group of guys that your dad is friends with - I have no idea how the JLA got started but each member of the group is a different super hero. Your dad is the flash, so I guess that makes you baby flash).
Your dad and I have already had the conversation about who will be your honourary aunts and uncles - you just have so many people who love you already...especially me.
Love,
mommy
Dear Theo,
Your dad joined me on the trip to see you today. When we got there, the nurse showed us how to bathe you. You were not a happy camper having your bath. You screamed through a lot of it. You have a very distinct cry - high pitched and squeaky.
Your dad also changed his first diaper today. He did such a good job and I was very proud of him (and yes I would like to encourage this behaviour). When it comes to you, he is very hands on. He is going to be a wonderful dad. Seeing the two of you together, seeing how much he loves you, it takes my breath away. He is the one person who I don't feel any sort of jealousy towards when he holds you. Ever since you were born and we realized that you would have to stay in the hospital I have been having a hard time sharing you. I want so much to feel bonded to you, to feel like your mom, but so often I feel like I'm on the outside, like I only get to be your mom part time. When your grandma came to visit on Saturday it was a little hard to watch her hold you the whole time. I just wanted to hold you myself since we have so little time with you. It's for that reason that your dad and I have decided that when we bring you home we are going to shut out the rest of the world for a week to give the three of us time to bond and get used to being a family. I'm looking forward to that week. I'm looking forward to that day when we can finally bring you home...even though I know that it is still a couple of weeks away.
Daddy and I took a bunch of pictures of you in your new outfit today. You look so cute in your little hat, even though it barely fits around your head.
After our visit with you, we went out for dinner with your Uncle Dave. I can tell that your uncle is absolutely thrilled to have you for a nephew! One day you will get to meet him yourself. There are a lot of people who are dieing to see you. Your dad is proud because you are the first JLA baby. (JLA stands for Justice League of America and is a group of guys that your dad is friends with - I have no idea how the JLA got started but each member of the group is a different super hero. Your dad is the flash, so I guess that makes you baby flash).
Your dad and I have already had the conversation about who will be your honourary aunts and uncles - you just have so many people who love you already...especially me.
Love,
mommy
Letters to Theo - November 15, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Dear Theo,
This morning I went back into the school where I work to say goodbye to my students and the staff. I brought in a picture of you to show too. Everyone absolutely gushed over you. Of course, it was difficult having to answer the same question over and over - where's the baby? Still, it was good to see everyone. I went out for lunch with your 'aunts' Deb and Lisa. The two of them have been a huge source of support for me, reassuring me that it is okay to be a little selfish and protective when it comes to you. They have also volunteered to make food for your dad and I. I think it is very sweet of them.
When I got to the hospital I had a bit of a surprise - they had moved you to the other room. I don't really think I like the change. This new room has more babies and more people (moms mostly) and it is a lot smaller than the other room. With all the chaos of this new room, I felt a little lost and out of place. Both my attempts at breastfeeding seemed to be unsuccessful (less than 5 cc's) and what made it worse is that all the mothers around me seemed to be doing so well (30 cc's). It was very discouraging and when I left the hospital I felt especially emotional. I just feel so alone. Your father is very supportive but the problem is that he can't be there at the hospital everyday because he has to work to support our family.
The best part of my day was your smile. I was holding you in my arms and watching you make faces and with your eyes still closed, the corners of your mouth turned up in a beautiful smile. It made me smile to see it and I thought you must be having some really good dream. Maybe you were dreaming about your daddy and I, maybe something else...I just hope that you are happy.
Love,
mommy
Dear Theo,
This morning I went back into the school where I work to say goodbye to my students and the staff. I brought in a picture of you to show too. Everyone absolutely gushed over you. Of course, it was difficult having to answer the same question over and over - where's the baby? Still, it was good to see everyone. I went out for lunch with your 'aunts' Deb and Lisa. The two of them have been a huge source of support for me, reassuring me that it is okay to be a little selfish and protective when it comes to you. They have also volunteered to make food for your dad and I. I think it is very sweet of them.
When I got to the hospital I had a bit of a surprise - they had moved you to the other room. I don't really think I like the change. This new room has more babies and more people (moms mostly) and it is a lot smaller than the other room. With all the chaos of this new room, I felt a little lost and out of place. Both my attempts at breastfeeding seemed to be unsuccessful (less than 5 cc's) and what made it worse is that all the mothers around me seemed to be doing so well (30 cc's). It was very discouraging and when I left the hospital I felt especially emotional. I just feel so alone. Your father is very supportive but the problem is that he can't be there at the hospital everyday because he has to work to support our family.
The best part of my day was your smile. I was holding you in my arms and watching you make faces and with your eyes still closed, the corners of your mouth turned up in a beautiful smile. It made me smile to see it and I thought you must be having some really good dream. Maybe you were dreaming about your daddy and I, maybe something else...I just hope that you are happy.
Love,
mommy
Thursday, 17 November 2011
TBT #5
This song will forever and ever remind me of my friend Jay (I'm laughing right now thinking about his goofy dance moves). It is from the year 1996. My most vivid memory of this song is from the night that Jay took me out to a local club (Front 54) to help take my mind off the fact that I had just broken up with my boyfriend who had confessed to cheating on me. Don't feel too bad for me, we had only been together for about a week. And as fate would have it, that was also the night that I met my future husband (at least according to him). He was with some of his volleyball teammates and when he saw me, he elbowed one of them and said "Hey Wes, what do you think of the redhead?" After that he approached me and dropped his best line - "Hi, my name is Joe." We exchanged info and well, the rest is history.
And just in case you are curious, the first time my husband and I actually met was a month earlier at our University pub. Joe was an orientation director (basically responsible for going around and helping first years and encouraging school spirit - but if you ask me it was just a ploy to meet girls). I was standing alone waiting for a friend and he came over and said hi, asked if I was having fun and gave me a hug. He doesn't remember this of course, but I do. It's not every day that a cute black guy comes over to give you a hug.
So, I'm curious - where did you meet your significant other?
As for the song - this one is for you Jay! No Mercy - 'Where Do You Go'
And just in case you are curious, the first time my husband and I actually met was a month earlier at our University pub. Joe was an orientation director (basically responsible for going around and helping first years and encouraging school spirit - but if you ask me it was just a ploy to meet girls). I was standing alone waiting for a friend and he came over and said hi, asked if I was having fun and gave me a hug. He doesn't remember this of course, but I do. It's not every day that a cute black guy comes over to give you a hug.
So, I'm curious - where did you meet your significant other?
As for the song - this one is for you Jay! No Mercy - 'Where Do You Go'
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
Letters to Theo - November 13, 2006
People are often surprised when I tell them I was in labour for 32 hours with Theo. But despite how difficult the labour and delivery were, I would have endured 64 hours of it, if it meant at the end of it all, I got to take Theo home with me. Being separated from my baby is one of the hardest things I have ever had to endure. Everyday that I was not with him, I would walk around feeling like a piece of me was missing. I know it is hard to understand unless you have been through it. My heart goes out to all of the parents of preemies who had to go through something similar, especially those who had to endure several months of separation.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Dear Theo,
This morning I went shopping. Since your early arrival was so unexpected, there were a lot of things that I needed that I didn't have. (like nursing bras) I also found you an adorable preemie outfit. I can't wait to see how you look in it!
Today was my first day of driving to the hospital. It was also my first day of breastfeeding. It was so amazing to actually see you latch on and it made me feel so close to you. What I want more than anything is to feel bonded to you. It isn't easy because I don't get to see you very much and I can't just take you out of your incubator and hold you whenever I want.
My time with you is so precious to me. I breastfed you twice today and each time you got 5 ccs - a huge accomplishment for both of us! Not only did it make me feel successful, it made me feel a special connection with you.
When I finally left the hospital, a feeling of sadness washed over me. I cried the whole way home and then cried some more when I got home and saw your dad. I miss you and I hate being separated from you.
Love,
mommy
Monday, November 13, 2006
Dear Theo,
This morning I went shopping. Since your early arrival was so unexpected, there were a lot of things that I needed that I didn't have. (like nursing bras) I also found you an adorable preemie outfit. I can't wait to see how you look in it!
Today was my first day of driving to the hospital. It was also my first day of breastfeeding. It was so amazing to actually see you latch on and it made me feel so close to you. What I want more than anything is to feel bonded to you. It isn't easy because I don't get to see you very much and I can't just take you out of your incubator and hold you whenever I want.
My time with you is so precious to me. I breastfed you twice today and each time you got 5 ccs - a huge accomplishment for both of us! Not only did it make me feel successful, it made me feel a special connection with you.
When I finally left the hospital, a feeling of sadness washed over me. I cried the whole way home and then cried some more when I got home and saw your dad. I miss you and I hate being separated from you.
Love,
mommy
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
Letters to Theo - November 12, 2006
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Dear Theo,
Today, because of your biliruben (yellow colour), the nurse had to give you phototherapy, where they put you under a special light. They strip you down to just your diaper and they put a pair of felt 'glasses' on you. The whole thing makes you look like you are out tanning. It's very cute.
This afternoon your other set of grandparents came to visit. You are their first grandchild and they are so excited about you! You know that your grandmother will probably be the only person who calls you by your full name, just like she calls your daddy by his full name.
Today I am being released from the hospital. After being here for over 1 week, it will be nice to go home and sleep in my own bed. I pumped milk for you one more time before I left. Afterwards I lost track of time and I had to rush to bring it to the NICU before the 6:45 p.m. shift change. Your dad was in the washroom at the time so he didn't come with me. I made it in time and the nurse was so nice! Knowing I was going home that night, she let me take you out for a snuggle and she even went and fetched your father so that he could have a snuggle too.
Leaving you and going home was so hard. The second I got into the car I started to cry and I cried the whole way home. After everything that I have been through with this pregnancy, including such a long and painful labour, it feels very unfair to me that I can't even enjoy the moment of bringing you home. The thought of going through at least another 2 weeks separated from you is almost too much to bear.
Love,
mommy
You may be wondering why I didn't stay at the hospital with Theo. The hospital where he was wasn't equipped with rooms for parents to stay (except for the ones they used for their overnight 'tests'). We had been paying for the private room I had been staying in prior to Theo's birth and it wasn't exactly cheap, plus I didn't like the idea of keeping the bed from someone else who might actually be sick or injured. Still, I think when I made the decision to get discharged from the hospital I didn't realize just how hard it would be to leave, to be away from him. By then it was too late to change my mind.
I still had to pump milk every 3 hours (which I would save and bring to the NICU and leave in their fridge) even overnight. I would set my alarm and when it went off, I would get out of bed, come downstairs, put the TV on and pump. There is nothing quite so depressing as being up at 3 in the morning pumping milk. It didn't matter that I kept a picture of Theo close by, it was still sad not having him there.
Dear Theo,
Today, because of your biliruben (yellow colour), the nurse had to give you phototherapy, where they put you under a special light. They strip you down to just your diaper and they put a pair of felt 'glasses' on you. The whole thing makes you look like you are out tanning. It's very cute.
This afternoon your other set of grandparents came to visit. You are their first grandchild and they are so excited about you! You know that your grandmother will probably be the only person who calls you by your full name, just like she calls your daddy by his full name.
Today I am being released from the hospital. After being here for over 1 week, it will be nice to go home and sleep in my own bed. I pumped milk for you one more time before I left. Afterwards I lost track of time and I had to rush to bring it to the NICU before the 6:45 p.m. shift change. Your dad was in the washroom at the time so he didn't come with me. I made it in time and the nurse was so nice! Knowing I was going home that night, she let me take you out for a snuggle and she even went and fetched your father so that he could have a snuggle too.
Leaving you and going home was so hard. The second I got into the car I started to cry and I cried the whole way home. After everything that I have been through with this pregnancy, including such a long and painful labour, it feels very unfair to me that I can't even enjoy the moment of bringing you home. The thought of going through at least another 2 weeks separated from you is almost too much to bear.
Love,
mommy
You may be wondering why I didn't stay at the hospital with Theo. The hospital where he was wasn't equipped with rooms for parents to stay (except for the ones they used for their overnight 'tests'). We had been paying for the private room I had been staying in prior to Theo's birth and it wasn't exactly cheap, plus I didn't like the idea of keeping the bed from someone else who might actually be sick or injured. Still, I think when I made the decision to get discharged from the hospital I didn't realize just how hard it would be to leave, to be away from him. By then it was too late to change my mind.
I still had to pump milk every 3 hours (which I would save and bring to the NICU and leave in their fridge) even overnight. I would set my alarm and when it went off, I would get out of bed, come downstairs, put the TV on and pump. There is nothing quite so depressing as being up at 3 in the morning pumping milk. It didn't matter that I kept a picture of Theo close by, it was still sad not having him there.
Monday, 14 November 2011
Letters to Theo - November 11, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Dear Theo,
Daddy and I came to see you this morning. We both were so proud of you because you stayed quiet through the two minutes of silence. It is so good to see you. Your head is starting to look more normal in its shape - you had a bit of a cone-head when you were born because they had to use forceps to get you out. You are also starting to look a little darker. Daddy and I have decided that you have his nose and his big feet and mommy's mouth and tiny ears. Regardless, I think you are absolutely beautiful. This afternoon your Grandma & Grandpa Roy stopped by to see you. Your Grandma is still trying to figure out what she wants you to call her, so as soon as she decides I will let you know.
Your grandparents were so excited to finally meet you. Grandma thinks you are the spitting image of your dad. I would love it if you end up looking like your father. I especially hope that you have his curly hair. So many people thought that you might have red hair like me - but I'm secretly glad that your hair is dark brown. I'm happy that you had such a nice visit with your grandparents.
Daddy and I came to see you this evening before we headed off to bed. It was hard to say goodnight to you - I felt the tears welling up inside me. Just as I was leaving, you grabbed a hold of my finger and held onto it. It almost felt like your way of saying 'don't worry mommy, I will be okay' and it made me feel a little better about leaving you.
I was still a little sad though and your daddy didn't quite understand why until I explained it to him. You have been in my tummy for the past 7 1/2 months and for at least the last 3 months I have been able to feel you moving around inside of me - until now. Anytime I wanted to I could touch my stomach and feel you there and be comforted. Now I can't do that and I feel lost without you.
Love,
mommy
Dear Theo,
Daddy and I came to see you this morning. We both were so proud of you because you stayed quiet through the two minutes of silence. It is so good to see you. Your head is starting to look more normal in its shape - you had a bit of a cone-head when you were born because they had to use forceps to get you out. You are also starting to look a little darker. Daddy and I have decided that you have his nose and his big feet and mommy's mouth and tiny ears. Regardless, I think you are absolutely beautiful. This afternoon your Grandma & Grandpa Roy stopped by to see you. Your Grandma is still trying to figure out what she wants you to call her, so as soon as she decides I will let you know.
I was still a little sad though and your daddy didn't quite understand why until I explained it to him. You have been in my tummy for the past 7 1/2 months and for at least the last 3 months I have been able to feel you moving around inside of me - until now. Anytime I wanted to I could touch my stomach and feel you there and be comforted. Now I can't do that and I feel lost without you.
Love,
mommy
WILT #6
The first time I heard this song (on So You Think You Can Dance) I immediately fell in love with it. It is the kind of song that I like to play when I'm feeling sad and I'm not trying to cheer myself up. I have friends who are going through a rough patch in their lives right now and the lyrics to this song make me think of them and what they are going through. Sometimes life can be hard, not what we expect. I just hope they get their happy endings.
This is Trent Dabbs "Inside These Lines"
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Letters to Theo - November 10, 2006
A few days ago I fell in love. It was love at first sight. I didn't know you could love someone so much after having only known them for a short while, but I do. He is the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on...and he is mine. So, what's the name of this young gentleman who has stolen my heart? Theo...my son.
I kept a journal when I was pregnant with Theo and in the days after he was born, I started to write letters to him. I think the best way to share the events of that time is to tell it in my own words in that moment. So here is the first letter to Theo.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Dear Theo,
Today you were born - my little miracle. I can't even put into words the relief and happiness I felt when I heard your little cry for the first time and I saw your tiny little body. You are a dream come true for me. You have made me into a mother - something I have dreamt about for so long. Even after 32 hours of labour, all I have to do is look at you and I know every minute was worth it.
After you were born, they brought you to the NICU where they take care of little guys like you. I wish I could have held you right away, but I understand why that couldn't happen. When I did finally get to hold you, it was magical. I remember thinking, wow, this little person is mine, my son. All the months that you were inside of me, I had waited for that moment when I would finally get to hold you in my arms. I just wish I never had to let go.
When your dad and I went to visit you in the NICU this afternoon, daddy got to hold you for the first time. I know how much it meant to him. Seeing the two of you together warms my heart. It is a surreal feeling for me, having the three of us together, knowing that we are a 'family of 3' now. It just feels so right to me.
Today was filled with calling people and sharing our good news. So many people love you already and they can't wait to meet you. For most of the day there has been a sense of elation in me and a sense of pride. Everyone is so excited that you have come into the world. I have to pinch myself to truly believe this is happening.
As I lay down to go to sleep, still feeling exhausted from the 32 hours of labour I endured, I started to feel really sad. Tears started to pour from my eyes and I realized that I was sad because I missed you. Here you were just a short distance down the hall and I was suffering from the feelings of separation. I wanted to be near you, I wanted to be able to look at you, to reach over and touch you, to kiss your little face...and I couldn't.
You are all I can think about and it makes me feel so sad not having you close by. I hope tomorrow comes soon so that I can see you again.
Love,
mommy
I kept a journal when I was pregnant with Theo and in the days after he was born, I started to write letters to him. I think the best way to share the events of that time is to tell it in my own words in that moment. So here is the first letter to Theo.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Dear Theo,
Today you were born - my little miracle. I can't even put into words the relief and happiness I felt when I heard your little cry for the first time and I saw your tiny little body. You are a dream come true for me. You have made me into a mother - something I have dreamt about for so long. Even after 32 hours of labour, all I have to do is look at you and I know every minute was worth it.
After you were born, they brought you to the NICU where they take care of little guys like you. I wish I could have held you right away, but I understand why that couldn't happen. When I did finally get to hold you, it was magical. I remember thinking, wow, this little person is mine, my son. All the months that you were inside of me, I had waited for that moment when I would finally get to hold you in my arms. I just wish I never had to let go.
When your dad and I went to visit you in the NICU this afternoon, daddy got to hold you for the first time. I know how much it meant to him. Seeing the two of you together warms my heart. It is a surreal feeling for me, having the three of us together, knowing that we are a 'family of 3' now. It just feels so right to me.
Today was filled with calling people and sharing our good news. So many people love you already and they can't wait to meet you. For most of the day there has been a sense of elation in me and a sense of pride. Everyone is so excited that you have come into the world. I have to pinch myself to truly believe this is happening.
As I lay down to go to sleep, still feeling exhausted from the 32 hours of labour I endured, I started to feel really sad. Tears started to pour from my eyes and I realized that I was sad because I missed you. Here you were just a short distance down the hall and I was suffering from the feelings of separation. I wanted to be near you, I wanted to be able to look at you, to reach over and touch you, to kiss your little face...and I couldn't.
You are all I can think about and it makes me feel so sad not having you close by. I hope tomorrow comes soon so that I can see you again.
Love,
mommy
 |
| Proud new dad |
Friday, 11 November 2011
TBT #4 (on Friday)
I know it's Friday, not Thursday...but yesterday was Theo's birthday so I wanted to post about his birth (it seemed more fitting that way), so TBT was delayed a day. It is also Remembrance Day, so if you haven't already today, stop and take a moment to be grateful for those who fought and those who continue to fight for our freedom.
One of the tragic things that that happened this week was the death of Heavy D at the age of 44. So, I thought today it was only fitting that my throwback song be one of his. This is "Now that We Found Love" from 1991. Every time I hear this song I can't help but think of the movie 'Hitch' (also a good movie) and the end sequence where they were all dancing at the wedding. Almost makes me want to get married again just so I can have a soul train line and dance to this song. Don't be afraid to get up and groove to this one! Rest in peace, Heavy D.
One of the tragic things that that happened this week was the death of Heavy D at the age of 44. So, I thought today it was only fitting that my throwback song be one of his. This is "Now that We Found Love" from 1991. Every time I hear this song I can't help but think of the movie 'Hitch' (also a good movie) and the end sequence where they were all dancing at the wedding. Almost makes me want to get married again just so I can have a soul train line and dance to this song. Don't be afraid to get up and groove to this one! Rest in peace, Heavy D.
Thursday, 10 November 2011
The Story of Theo - Part 4 The Arrival
Bedrest.
The dreaded 'B' word. It's funny how things change. If someone ordered me to be on bedrest right now, I would take it gladly! "What's that? You want me to do nothing, stay in bed, catch up on sleep, and you're going to bring me food? Is there a catch?" Of course, at the time I didn't think it was all that great. Despite being armed with books, crochet stuff, a CD walkman and crossword puzzle books, I was in essence, bored out of my mind.
I also learned an interesting new fact: amniotic fluid replenishes itself. Huh. The problem with this is that I was basically leaking the entire time I was in the hospital.The worst part was standing up - it was akin to having Niagara Falls in my pants.
I can't complain too much though because I did have my own room and Joe had a cot to sleep on. The hospital food wasn't the greatest but it wasn't horrible. But all I could do was wait. The doctors wanted to keep the baby inside me as long as possible so that it would continue to develop. They continued to monitor my blood pressure and I had to do frequent stress tests to make sure the baby was doing fine and I wasn't having any contractions. I also had another ultrasound, though thankfully this time I didn't have to drink any water.
Everything was fine with me and the baby and it stayed that way through Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Finally on Wednesday, Joe who had been hanging out at the hospital most of the time asked if I thought it would be okay if he went into work and got some stuff done. I said sure, after all there had been no action whatsoever the past few days. Plus my mom and her friend were coming by to visit me that afternoon. So off he went.
Did I mention that our baby had a fantastic sense of humour?
So late that afternoon, shortly after my mom and her friend arrived for a visit, I started to feel some contractions. Fantastic. I started to time them and realized that they were coming pretty regularly. So we paged the nurse and eventually I was taken to be tested and sure enough, I was having contractions. Great. I'm in labour again and Joe once again isn't here. This time it was my mom who got a hold of him. She stayed with me until he arrived and then she left (she would have stayed but it was my preference that Joe was the only family member present for my labour and delivery). Again, there was that sense of relief when he walked in the door, only this time the contractions didn't stop.
Now before all of this crazy pregnancy stuff happened, it had been my intention to have a natural birth at home with no drugs. Well obviously the 'home' part was out of the question, but I still thought I could try for the natural birth. And I did try, I refused any drugs for the entire first night, but I also didn't get any sleep because the contractions kept me awake. Finally, I was convinced by both the nurse and Joe that I should take some morphene. It would help me sleep and I needed sleep if I was going to be able to make it through the delivery.
Ah, morphene, I really like you.
I slept for a good chunk of the day after that but eventually it wore off and I woke up. They gave me another dose, only this time it didn't help. And wow, were the contractions painful. I think they were worse because I was not allowed to get up and walk around. They only let me out of bed to go pee. Needless to say, I had to 'pee' pretty frequently. I was also strapped to a special machine for Electronic Fetal Monitoring (basically a machine that measures the strength and frequency of contractions) that was not particularily comfortable to wear.
So there I was, without morphene and still feeling some serious contractions. And when the resident came in to check on me, I was only 3 cm dilated, which meant I still had 7 more cms to go before I was ready to deliver this baby! Here was the dilemma: I could try and hang on without any more drugs and have a natural delivery, but no one was able to tell me how much longer it would be before I was fully dilated. It could be a couple of hours or it could be a couple of days. So, once again, both Joe and the nurse convinced me to get the epidural. After that I was able to dose a little bit.
When I did wake up sometime around 8 p.m., it was quickly discovered that I was fully dilated and my body was ready to start pushing. Given the fact that this baby was still going to be born too early, I was brought into one of the operating rooms as a precaution and moved onto a steel table, a much less comfortable surface.
I wish I could tell you at this point that the delivery was quick and painless, but that would be a huge lie. No, this baby was not going to let anything about this pregnancy be easy. So I pushed, and pushed, and pushed. But despite my efforts, this baby just did not want to come out. I can remember at one point, after pushing for 2 hours, someone saying, 'We can just see the top of the head now'. What?? After all that work, that's it?? I did have a great cheering section though - Joe was there holding my hand the whole time, the nurses were amazing and at some point, my midwife, Jenn showed up as well. She was incredible, telling me what to expect and giving me updates on my progress (or lack of it). The problem with the epidural is that I couldn't really tell when it was time to push, so I think I may have been pushing at the wrong times. It also didn't take away most of the pain. I'm not sure if the birth was harder because it was more of a dry birth, but it certainly wasn't because my baby was too big. In the end it took almost 5 hours and they finally had to use forceps because the little guy was stuck on my pelvic bone and was going into a little bit of distress.
After 32 hours of labour, Theo was finally born.
I got to see him for 2 seconds before they whisked him off to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). It was the worst feeling. No matter how tired I was, all I wanted to do was hold my baby.
Of course, my difficult pregnancy and delivery weren't finished quite yet, I still had to deliver the placenta and it was not being cooperative (go figure). At one point the resident was actually massaging my abdomen (and don't be confused by the word 'massage' - it was not in the least bit pleasant!) Finally it came out. Then I had to be stitched up down there (and yes, I felt it, and yes, it was painful - but is that really surprising? Because I'm really not sure how someone repeatedly sticking a needle into your private part, can be seen as anything but painful). When I was done, I was able to return to one of the prenatal rooms where I had to wait to completely unfreeze from my epidural before I was finally, finally able to go up to the NICU to see my little one.
I will never forget that moment.
The first time that I got to hold this new little person in my arms. It is completely surreal. All those months carrying him around inside of me, feeling his little kicks, even some of his hiccups and now, he was in my arms.
Life would never be the same...and I couldn't be happier about it!
Happy 5th Birthday Theo!
And just when you thought that was the end of the story...
To be continued.
The dreaded 'B' word. It's funny how things change. If someone ordered me to be on bedrest right now, I would take it gladly! "What's that? You want me to do nothing, stay in bed, catch up on sleep, and you're going to bring me food? Is there a catch?" Of course, at the time I didn't think it was all that great. Despite being armed with books, crochet stuff, a CD walkman and crossword puzzle books, I was in essence, bored out of my mind.
I also learned an interesting new fact: amniotic fluid replenishes itself. Huh. The problem with this is that I was basically leaking the entire time I was in the hospital.The worst part was standing up - it was akin to having Niagara Falls in my pants.
I can't complain too much though because I did have my own room and Joe had a cot to sleep on. The hospital food wasn't the greatest but it wasn't horrible. But all I could do was wait. The doctors wanted to keep the baby inside me as long as possible so that it would continue to develop. They continued to monitor my blood pressure and I had to do frequent stress tests to make sure the baby was doing fine and I wasn't having any contractions. I also had another ultrasound, though thankfully this time I didn't have to drink any water.
Everything was fine with me and the baby and it stayed that way through Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Finally on Wednesday, Joe who had been hanging out at the hospital most of the time asked if I thought it would be okay if he went into work and got some stuff done. I said sure, after all there had been no action whatsoever the past few days. Plus my mom and her friend were coming by to visit me that afternoon. So off he went.
Did I mention that our baby had a fantastic sense of humour?
So late that afternoon, shortly after my mom and her friend arrived for a visit, I started to feel some contractions. Fantastic. I started to time them and realized that they were coming pretty regularly. So we paged the nurse and eventually I was taken to be tested and sure enough, I was having contractions. Great. I'm in labour again and Joe once again isn't here. This time it was my mom who got a hold of him. She stayed with me until he arrived and then she left (she would have stayed but it was my preference that Joe was the only family member present for my labour and delivery). Again, there was that sense of relief when he walked in the door, only this time the contractions didn't stop.
Now before all of this crazy pregnancy stuff happened, it had been my intention to have a natural birth at home with no drugs. Well obviously the 'home' part was out of the question, but I still thought I could try for the natural birth. And I did try, I refused any drugs for the entire first night, but I also didn't get any sleep because the contractions kept me awake. Finally, I was convinced by both the nurse and Joe that I should take some morphene. It would help me sleep and I needed sleep if I was going to be able to make it through the delivery.
Ah, morphene, I really like you.
I slept for a good chunk of the day after that but eventually it wore off and I woke up. They gave me another dose, only this time it didn't help. And wow, were the contractions painful. I think they were worse because I was not allowed to get up and walk around. They only let me out of bed to go pee. Needless to say, I had to 'pee' pretty frequently. I was also strapped to a special machine for Electronic Fetal Monitoring (basically a machine that measures the strength and frequency of contractions) that was not particularily comfortable to wear.
So there I was, without morphene and still feeling some serious contractions. And when the resident came in to check on me, I was only 3 cm dilated, which meant I still had 7 more cms to go before I was ready to deliver this baby! Here was the dilemma: I could try and hang on without any more drugs and have a natural delivery, but no one was able to tell me how much longer it would be before I was fully dilated. It could be a couple of hours or it could be a couple of days. So, once again, both Joe and the nurse convinced me to get the epidural. After that I was able to dose a little bit.
When I did wake up sometime around 8 p.m., it was quickly discovered that I was fully dilated and my body was ready to start pushing. Given the fact that this baby was still going to be born too early, I was brought into one of the operating rooms as a precaution and moved onto a steel table, a much less comfortable surface.
I wish I could tell you at this point that the delivery was quick and painless, but that would be a huge lie. No, this baby was not going to let anything about this pregnancy be easy. So I pushed, and pushed, and pushed. But despite my efforts, this baby just did not want to come out. I can remember at one point, after pushing for 2 hours, someone saying, 'We can just see the top of the head now'. What?? After all that work, that's it?? I did have a great cheering section though - Joe was there holding my hand the whole time, the nurses were amazing and at some point, my midwife, Jenn showed up as well. She was incredible, telling me what to expect and giving me updates on my progress (or lack of it). The problem with the epidural is that I couldn't really tell when it was time to push, so I think I may have been pushing at the wrong times. It also didn't take away most of the pain. I'm not sure if the birth was harder because it was more of a dry birth, but it certainly wasn't because my baby was too big. In the end it took almost 5 hours and they finally had to use forceps because the little guy was stuck on my pelvic bone and was going into a little bit of distress.
After 32 hours of labour, Theo was finally born.
I got to see him for 2 seconds before they whisked him off to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). It was the worst feeling. No matter how tired I was, all I wanted to do was hold my baby.
Of course, my difficult pregnancy and delivery weren't finished quite yet, I still had to deliver the placenta and it was not being cooperative (go figure). At one point the resident was actually massaging my abdomen (and don't be confused by the word 'massage' - it was not in the least bit pleasant!) Finally it came out. Then I had to be stitched up down there (and yes, I felt it, and yes, it was painful - but is that really surprising? Because I'm really not sure how someone repeatedly sticking a needle into your private part, can be seen as anything but painful). When I was done, I was able to return to one of the prenatal rooms where I had to wait to completely unfreeze from my epidural before I was finally, finally able to go up to the NICU to see my little one.
 |
| Yes, I look horrible in this picture, but really, after 32 hours of labour did you really expect to see a beauty queen? I am however ridiculously happy! |
The first time that I got to hold this new little person in my arms. It is completely surreal. All those months carrying him around inside of me, feeling his little kicks, even some of his hiccups and now, he was in my arms.
Life would never be the same...and I couldn't be happier about it!
Happy 5th Birthday Theo!
And just when you thought that was the end of the story...
To be continued.
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
The New - Week 2 (Baking blueberry pie)
It's week 2 - time to do something new!
First of all - my mom is an amazing cook! Most of the great recipes I make now came from her. I make her spaghetti sauce, her pork tenderloin, her broccoli & cauliflower casserole...so it may come as sort of a surprise that I have NEVER made her blueberry pie. Or any pie for that matter. Yup, I am 36 years old and I have never made a pie. And there really isn't any reason why I haven't. I'm certainly not afraid of baking. In fact, I make a pretty mean cheesecake (several varieties actually) - just ask my hubby, brothers and sister-in-law (all huge fans of my cheesecakes). But never a pie...until today!
Yes, for this week's something NEW I have decided to make my very first blueberry pie (blueberry because it happens to be Theo & Joe's favourite). I also thought it would be fun to enjoy this first time experience with my son Theo. In truth, I needed to call in an expert and unlike me, Theo has made a blueberry pie before with my mom.
To start, a phone call to my mom for her blueberry pie recipe. Then, blueberries were taken out of the freezer to thaw (this worked out fine since my little chef was at school during this time). Then pie making was delayed due to an unscheduled playdate. But one cannot delay pie making forever and later this afternoon we put on our invisible chef hats and got to work!
First, I get out all the ingredients and measuring utensils. What is most amazing is how few ingredients are needed to make a pie. The pie crust I made with butter and because I didn't have any unsalted butter, I didn't add any extra salt. So literally all I needed was flour, butter and water. Huh. As for the filling, simply blueberries, sugar and a bit of flour. Now we are ready to begin!
I measured out the flour in a measuring cup and Theo used a spoon to scoop it out of the cup and into a mixing bowl (his technique, wondering if this somehow adds to the flakiness of the pie).
Next we added the butter. We don't have one of those fancy pastry cutters, so we ended up using a potato masher instead (worked just as good in my opinion). The blueberry filling took literally seconds to make - Theo poured in the sugar and the flour and mixed.
Then it was time to roll out the dough. We don't have one of those long rolling pins. What we do have is a fancy one from Pampered Chef. Theo again had a very special technique for doing this, kind of a constant rotation while rolling at the same time (I'm sure this pie crust is going to be amazing!). I put the first rolled out dough into the pie plate (yes, believe it or not I actually own two pie plates despite never having made a pie) and then added the blueberry mixture. Then we rolled out the second dough and I placed it on top of the first. I trimmed the edges of all the excess dough and then attempted to make the sides look pretty using the knuckle of my thumb and my two fingers.
You will notice that I also put a 'T' in the middle of the pie. I did this for two reasons: the first being to stand for 'Theo' since it is indeed his birthday pie and the second because I realized too late that we had rolled part of the dough a little bit too thin (oops). Problem solved!
The last thing to do was to put it in the oven and wait. Of course I checked on it every 5-10 minutes just to make sure it wasn't getting too brown. And voila! The pie is done and my first pie making attempt is a success...at least in terms of how the pie looks (we won't talk about the fact that the bottom of my oven now has a small pool of baked on blueberry filling on it, nor will we talk about the fact that the spilled blueberry caused my oven to start smoking and I had to turn on the fan and open several windows).
I have no idea how the pie tastes and I won't be able to tell you today since we aren't having the pie until tomorrow. But if smell is any indication, then we are in for a real treat...Mmmmmmm!
First of all - my mom is an amazing cook! Most of the great recipes I make now came from her. I make her spaghetti sauce, her pork tenderloin, her broccoli & cauliflower casserole...so it may come as sort of a surprise that I have NEVER made her blueberry pie. Or any pie for that matter. Yup, I am 36 years old and I have never made a pie. And there really isn't any reason why I haven't. I'm certainly not afraid of baking. In fact, I make a pretty mean cheesecake (several varieties actually) - just ask my hubby, brothers and sister-in-law (all huge fans of my cheesecakes). But never a pie...until today!
Yes, for this week's something NEW I have decided to make my very first blueberry pie (blueberry because it happens to be Theo & Joe's favourite). I also thought it would be fun to enjoy this first time experience with my son Theo. In truth, I needed to call in an expert and unlike me, Theo has made a blueberry pie before with my mom.
To start, a phone call to my mom for her blueberry pie recipe. Then, blueberries were taken out of the freezer to thaw (this worked out fine since my little chef was at school during this time). Then pie making was delayed due to an unscheduled playdate. But one cannot delay pie making forever and later this afternoon we put on our invisible chef hats and got to work!
First, I get out all the ingredients and measuring utensils. What is most amazing is how few ingredients are needed to make a pie. The pie crust I made with butter and because I didn't have any unsalted butter, I didn't add any extra salt. So literally all I needed was flour, butter and water. Huh. As for the filling, simply blueberries, sugar and a bit of flour. Now we are ready to begin!
I measured out the flour in a measuring cup and Theo used a spoon to scoop it out of the cup and into a mixing bowl (his technique, wondering if this somehow adds to the flakiness of the pie).
Next we added the butter. We don't have one of those fancy pastry cutters, so we ended up using a potato masher instead (worked just as good in my opinion). The blueberry filling took literally seconds to make - Theo poured in the sugar and the flour and mixed.
Then it was time to roll out the dough. We don't have one of those long rolling pins. What we do have is a fancy one from Pampered Chef. Theo again had a very special technique for doing this, kind of a constant rotation while rolling at the same time (I'm sure this pie crust is going to be amazing!). I put the first rolled out dough into the pie plate (yes, believe it or not I actually own two pie plates despite never having made a pie) and then added the blueberry mixture. Then we rolled out the second dough and I placed it on top of the first. I trimmed the edges of all the excess dough and then attempted to make the sides look pretty using the knuckle of my thumb and my two fingers.
 |
| Before going into the oven |
The last thing to do was to put it in the oven and wait. Of course I checked on it every 5-10 minutes just to make sure it wasn't getting too brown. And voila! The pie is done and my first pie making attempt is a success...at least in terms of how the pie looks (we won't talk about the fact that the bottom of my oven now has a small pool of baked on blueberry filling on it, nor will we talk about the fact that the spilled blueberry caused my oven to start smoking and I had to turn on the fan and open several windows).
 |
| The finished product |
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
The Story of Theo - Part 3 The Hospital
I was 4 months pregnant when school ended for the year and other than my closest friends, no one at school knew. Not my fellow teachers. Not my principal. Not my students. My belly didn't 'pop' until after the 4 month mark, so I was still wearing my regular clothes. My surgery had been at the end of August and I was slated to take 6 weeks off to recover (though I ended up taking only 4). Needless to say, school had already started when I went back to resume teaching. Not only was it a huge surprise for my students to see me back at school, they were doubly surprised to learn that I was pregnant too!
With surgery behind me and the worry of my cyst gone, I was looking ahead to the future. When I first got pregnant, Joe and I agreed that we wanted midwives to deliver our baby. In fact, two of our really good friends were midwives and they were going to be the ones to do it. We also agreed that we wanted to have a home birth. I know that is shocking for some people, but we believed that it would be nicer to have our baby at home and we knew we were in really good hands! After the surgery, Joe and I started looking into the possibility of having a home 'water' birth. This would require us to get a special birthing tub and so we were slowly mulling it over.
We were like many couples who had hit the 7-month pregnancy mark, we didn't have a lot of the things needed for baby but we weren't in any rush to get them either. Theo's due date was December 25 so we still had lots of time. Yup, I was going to have a baby born on or around Christmas - something I had hoped never to do to my child. I myself was born less than a week before Christmas and had to endure years of 'birthday/Christmas' gifts (especially from my brothers). I was secretly praying that this baby would make an early entrance into the world.
Be careful what you wish for...
It was Friday, November 3 and I woke up at 7 to get ready for work. As I was walking down the hall towards the bathroom I suddenly felt a slight gushing sensation. Okay, either I have peed my pants (in which case, how embarrassing) or my water just broke...only, it is way too early for that to be happening! 7 1/2 weeks way too early! At this point most women would be calling for their husbands and freaking out a little. Well, I was definitely freaking out but it wasn't a little and it wouldn't have made a difference if I called out for Joe...because he was in B.C.!! For those of you not familiar with my amazing country - he was 4300 km (2670 miles) away. Ahhhhh!!
I think at some point I resumed breathing and was able to find the phone number to page my midwife, Jenn. After talking to her, I hopped in my car and drove to her house (still 'leaking' the whole time - how pleasant.). Her husband Geoff was there (her husband and my husband just happen to be best friends) and he ended up driving the two of us to the hospital (the same one where I had my surgery) so that I could get checked out by the OB/GYN there (the same one who did my surgery). All morning I was trying to get a hold of Joe on his cell phone and was not surprisingly unsuccessful...it was after all only 4:00 in the morning there.
When we got to the hospital and I got checked out, it was confirmed that my bag of membranes had indeed ruptured a little. So much for the peed my pants theory. Okay, so if you don't know too much about fetal development, I will give you the quick run down. At 32-weeks, while the baby is growing at an increasing rate, the baby's lungs are not yet fully developed. This meant that I needed to be given a special drug that would help the baby's lungs develop more quickly. Since the hospital I was at was not equipped to deal with preemies, I needed to be transferred to another one...
In style! This was the part where I got to experience my first (and hopefully last) ride in an ambulance (minus the sirens). Oh did I mention that the paramedics were super cute and I was too busy 'wetting' myself this morning to put on make-up or brush my hair (go figure!) It was, nonetheless, a cool ride to the hospital. Less cool was when we got there and they wheeled me out on a gurney, through the hospital and several onlookers.
I was taken into a room, introduced to another doctor and hooked up to a machine that would monitor my baby's heart rate and my contractions. They gave me drugs to help stop the contractions in hopes of keeping the baby inside me longer to keep 'cooking'. I had fingers, toes and every other appendage crossed hoping that the baby would at least wait until Joe got there before making his grand entrance into the world.
Meanwhile this whole time, Geoff (who had followed us to the hospital in his car) had been desperately trying to get a hold of Joe - calling people Joe worked with, trying to get Joe's client's phone number. Finally, he managed to get through to Joe (at around 10 am)- I can just imagine how that conversation went "Um, yeah, you might want to come home, Cathy's water broke and she's having contractions". The crazy part was that Joe was in this smaller town called Quesnel (pronounced kwe-nell) and needed to take a small plane to get to Vancouver where he could then fly home. And wouldn't you know it there was a snow storm there (of course). Amazingly enough he managed to get out on the last flight that left Quesnel before they closed the airport! He was then able to easily find a flight out of Vancouver heading for Toronto. When he arrived at the airport, he got in his car and drove straight to the hospital and I've been told he may have been going a little bit over the speed limit to get there.
I can't tell you the relief I felt when Joe walked in the door at 5:30 that afternoon. Almost immediately after his arrival, my contractions stopped. It was like the baby knew - "Okay, Daddy's here, no need to rush". Of course, even with the immediate danger over, they couldn't exactly send me home - so I was checked into a different room at the hospital...and the waiting began.
To be continued.
With surgery behind me and the worry of my cyst gone, I was looking ahead to the future. When I first got pregnant, Joe and I agreed that we wanted midwives to deliver our baby. In fact, two of our really good friends were midwives and they were going to be the ones to do it. We also agreed that we wanted to have a home birth. I know that is shocking for some people, but we believed that it would be nicer to have our baby at home and we knew we were in really good hands! After the surgery, Joe and I started looking into the possibility of having a home 'water' birth. This would require us to get a special birthing tub and so we were slowly mulling it over.
We were like many couples who had hit the 7-month pregnancy mark, we didn't have a lot of the things needed for baby but we weren't in any rush to get them either. Theo's due date was December 25 so we still had lots of time. Yup, I was going to have a baby born on or around Christmas - something I had hoped never to do to my child. I myself was born less than a week before Christmas and had to endure years of 'birthday/Christmas' gifts (especially from my brothers). I was secretly praying that this baby would make an early entrance into the world.
Be careful what you wish for...
It was Friday, November 3 and I woke up at 7 to get ready for work. As I was walking down the hall towards the bathroom I suddenly felt a slight gushing sensation. Okay, either I have peed my pants (in which case, how embarrassing) or my water just broke...only, it is way too early for that to be happening! 7 1/2 weeks way too early! At this point most women would be calling for their husbands and freaking out a little. Well, I was definitely freaking out but it wasn't a little and it wouldn't have made a difference if I called out for Joe...because he was in B.C.!! For those of you not familiar with my amazing country - he was 4300 km (2670 miles) away. Ahhhhh!!
I think at some point I resumed breathing and was able to find the phone number to page my midwife, Jenn. After talking to her, I hopped in my car and drove to her house (still 'leaking' the whole time - how pleasant.). Her husband Geoff was there (her husband and my husband just happen to be best friends) and he ended up driving the two of us to the hospital (the same one where I had my surgery) so that I could get checked out by the OB/GYN there (the same one who did my surgery). All morning I was trying to get a hold of Joe on his cell phone and was not surprisingly unsuccessful...it was after all only 4:00 in the morning there.
When we got to the hospital and I got checked out, it was confirmed that my bag of membranes had indeed ruptured a little. So much for the peed my pants theory. Okay, so if you don't know too much about fetal development, I will give you the quick run down. At 32-weeks, while the baby is growing at an increasing rate, the baby's lungs are not yet fully developed. This meant that I needed to be given a special drug that would help the baby's lungs develop more quickly. Since the hospital I was at was not equipped to deal with preemies, I needed to be transferred to another one...
In style! This was the part where I got to experience my first (and hopefully last) ride in an ambulance (minus the sirens). Oh did I mention that the paramedics were super cute and I was too busy 'wetting' myself this morning to put on make-up or brush my hair (go figure!) It was, nonetheless, a cool ride to the hospital. Less cool was when we got there and they wheeled me out on a gurney, through the hospital and several onlookers.
I was taken into a room, introduced to another doctor and hooked up to a machine that would monitor my baby's heart rate and my contractions. They gave me drugs to help stop the contractions in hopes of keeping the baby inside me longer to keep 'cooking'. I had fingers, toes and every other appendage crossed hoping that the baby would at least wait until Joe got there before making his grand entrance into the world.
Meanwhile this whole time, Geoff (who had followed us to the hospital in his car) had been desperately trying to get a hold of Joe - calling people Joe worked with, trying to get Joe's client's phone number. Finally, he managed to get through to Joe (at around 10 am)- I can just imagine how that conversation went "Um, yeah, you might want to come home, Cathy's water broke and she's having contractions". The crazy part was that Joe was in this smaller town called Quesnel (pronounced kwe-nell) and needed to take a small plane to get to Vancouver where he could then fly home. And wouldn't you know it there was a snow storm there (of course). Amazingly enough he managed to get out on the last flight that left Quesnel before they closed the airport! He was then able to easily find a flight out of Vancouver heading for Toronto. When he arrived at the airport, he got in his car and drove straight to the hospital and I've been told he may have been going a little bit over the speed limit to get there.
I can't tell you the relief I felt when Joe walked in the door at 5:30 that afternoon. Almost immediately after his arrival, my contractions stopped. It was like the baby knew - "Okay, Daddy's here, no need to rush". Of course, even with the immediate danger over, they couldn't exactly send me home - so I was checked into a different room at the hospital...and the waiting began.
To be continued.
Monday, 7 November 2011
WILT #5
Andrew Belle.
If you watch Grey's Anatomy or Private Practice you may have already heard some of his music. One of the things I love about his music is how poetic his lyrics are. "The Ladder" is one of my favourites, but if you enjoy his type of music, check out "Tower", "Oh My Stars" and "Make It Without You" (though those last 2 are a little on the melancholy side).
If you watch Grey's Anatomy or Private Practice you may have already heard some of his music. One of the things I love about his music is how poetic his lyrics are. "The Ladder" is one of my favourites, but if you enjoy his type of music, check out "Tower", "Oh My Stars" and "Make It Without You" (though those last 2 are a little on the melancholy side).
Sunday, 6 November 2011
The Story of Theo - Part 2 Surgery
Surgery.
24 weeks pregnant.
I never thought I would ever be putting those two things together, but there I was 24-weeks pregnant and checked into the hospital preparing for just that. Having never had surgery before I had no idea what to expect or even how to mentally prepare myself for it. They wheeled me up to the operating room and after a quick kiss from my husband, I was brought inside the sterile looking room. I was dressed to the nines of course in my lovely hospital issue smock, with its very revealing back. Since I was pregnant and it was safer for me to be awake during the surgery, my doctor opted to give me an epidural (where they basically freeze you from the middle down).
The anesthesiologist put a needle into my back (oh fun!) and it wasn't long before I started to go numb. He would be around for the entire surgery to make sure I stayed that way, which would have been really comforting except for the fact that he was actually really cute (go figure) and would be seeing me in my birthday suit.
Next up was the insertion of the catheter (even more fun!) at this point I am thinking that at least I'm not a guy because I can just imagine how this must feel for them! Enter my amazing doctor, who I will refer to as Dr. N. They do some more checks to make sure that I am in fact entirely numb in all of the places that I am supposed to be. I was, by the way, lying down with my arms stretched out to the sides and there was a sheet that blocked my view of my midsection, where I was basically naked. So much for being shy!
Time to start the surgery.
Even though I couldn't see directly what they were doing, I was able to see my reflection in the lights above them so I actually saw when the doctor cut into my stomach. It was a surreal feeling, being cut open and being able to see it. I tried not to look too much after that, I wasn't sure I could handle it. I couldn't however do anything about what I felt. Since I was awake and only numbed, I could still feel them tugging and manipulating my stomach, I just didn't feel any pain. I can't even put into words just how weird that feeling is (and not an enjoyable weird either).
Both the anesthesiologist and Dr. N. were great, they told me what was going on throughout the entire surgery. Because of where the cyst was positioned (it was somewhat hidden behind my uterus) the doctor wasn't able to completely remove it, but instead had to drain it. It ended up being what they referred to as a chocolate cyst since the colour of the fluid that drained out of it was brown. I don't remember exactly how much liquid they drained (it was after all 5 years ago), but I do know it was a fair amount.
What I found interesting about the whole experience was getting to listen to what the doctor's and nurses talk about during surgery - it was not at all what I expected. At one point they were trying to figure out some math problem (huh?) They also tried to include me in their conversations at times (perhaps as a way to distract me), but ultimately there was no juicy gossip being tossed around.
When the surgery was finished, they sewed me back up and then I had to go and wait in the ICU where they would monitor me for the next hour. This was probably the most boring part of the entire surgery - hanging out in a room with a bunch of patients, most of whom were still completely knocked out from their anesthesia - when all I really wanted to do was go see my husband.
That was the best part, finally getting to see my husband and my family, knowing that the surgery was over and had been successful.
The scary part wasn't the surgery though, no, that came later that night when I suddenly woke with a strange feeling in my abdomen..."oh no", I thought, "I think I'm having contractions". And sure enough, I was. It was at this point that I started praying "Please, please, let them stop! This little one is not ready to be born yet...please..." It is such a helpless feeling to have, it almost feels like your body is betraying you, going against everything you want. There was definitely a feeling of having no control over the situation. I am just grateful for the amazing nurses and the drugs that finally helped answer my prayers, as I felt my body slowly give in and the contractions cease.
I had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days after the surgery to recover. During that time there were some other fun things that I got to experience: having to throw up despite not being able to move very much, the removal of my catheter (even more fun than having it inserted!), my restless leg syndrome that had me up walking the halls during the wee hours of one night, oh and my personal favourite - where the nurses had to insert some of my medication (use your imagination).
When I was finally released from the hospital it was so good to be home - within a week I was back on my feet, walking normally again. I remember how surprised my doctor was by how quickly I was recovering, but I'm not one who likes to be down and out for long.
Besides, it was time to get back to having a normal pregnancy again!
Or was it...
to be continued.
24 weeks pregnant.
I never thought I would ever be putting those two things together, but there I was 24-weeks pregnant and checked into the hospital preparing for just that. Having never had surgery before I had no idea what to expect or even how to mentally prepare myself for it. They wheeled me up to the operating room and after a quick kiss from my husband, I was brought inside the sterile looking room. I was dressed to the nines of course in my lovely hospital issue smock, with its very revealing back. Since I was pregnant and it was safer for me to be awake during the surgery, my doctor opted to give me an epidural (where they basically freeze you from the middle down).
The anesthesiologist put a needle into my back (oh fun!) and it wasn't long before I started to go numb. He would be around for the entire surgery to make sure I stayed that way, which would have been really comforting except for the fact that he was actually really cute (go figure) and would be seeing me in my birthday suit.
Next up was the insertion of the catheter (even more fun!) at this point I am thinking that at least I'm not a guy because I can just imagine how this must feel for them! Enter my amazing doctor, who I will refer to as Dr. N. They do some more checks to make sure that I am in fact entirely numb in all of the places that I am supposed to be. I was, by the way, lying down with my arms stretched out to the sides and there was a sheet that blocked my view of my midsection, where I was basically naked. So much for being shy!
Time to start the surgery.
Even though I couldn't see directly what they were doing, I was able to see my reflection in the lights above them so I actually saw when the doctor cut into my stomach. It was a surreal feeling, being cut open and being able to see it. I tried not to look too much after that, I wasn't sure I could handle it. I couldn't however do anything about what I felt. Since I was awake and only numbed, I could still feel them tugging and manipulating my stomach, I just didn't feel any pain. I can't even put into words just how weird that feeling is (and not an enjoyable weird either).
Both the anesthesiologist and Dr. N. were great, they told me what was going on throughout the entire surgery. Because of where the cyst was positioned (it was somewhat hidden behind my uterus) the doctor wasn't able to completely remove it, but instead had to drain it. It ended up being what they referred to as a chocolate cyst since the colour of the fluid that drained out of it was brown. I don't remember exactly how much liquid they drained (it was after all 5 years ago), but I do know it was a fair amount.
What I found interesting about the whole experience was getting to listen to what the doctor's and nurses talk about during surgery - it was not at all what I expected. At one point they were trying to figure out some math problem (huh?) They also tried to include me in their conversations at times (perhaps as a way to distract me), but ultimately there was no juicy gossip being tossed around.
When the surgery was finished, they sewed me back up and then I had to go and wait in the ICU where they would monitor me for the next hour. This was probably the most boring part of the entire surgery - hanging out in a room with a bunch of patients, most of whom were still completely knocked out from their anesthesia - when all I really wanted to do was go see my husband.
That was the best part, finally getting to see my husband and my family, knowing that the surgery was over and had been successful.
The scary part wasn't the surgery though, no, that came later that night when I suddenly woke with a strange feeling in my abdomen..."oh no", I thought, "I think I'm having contractions". And sure enough, I was. It was at this point that I started praying "Please, please, let them stop! This little one is not ready to be born yet...please..." It is such a helpless feeling to have, it almost feels like your body is betraying you, going against everything you want. There was definitely a feeling of having no control over the situation. I am just grateful for the amazing nurses and the drugs that finally helped answer my prayers, as I felt my body slowly give in and the contractions cease.
I had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days after the surgery to recover. During that time there were some other fun things that I got to experience: having to throw up despite not being able to move very much, the removal of my catheter (even more fun than having it inserted!), my restless leg syndrome that had me up walking the halls during the wee hours of one night, oh and my personal favourite - where the nurses had to insert some of my medication (use your imagination).
When I was finally released from the hospital it was so good to be home - within a week I was back on my feet, walking normally again. I remember how surprised my doctor was by how quickly I was recovering, but I'm not one who likes to be down and out for long.
Besides, it was time to get back to having a normal pregnancy again!
Or was it...
to be continued.
Friday, 4 November 2011
The Story of Theo - Part 1 'Pregnancy'
It is soon going to be my oldest son's birthday. He is turning 5. Inevitably at this time of year, I start to think back through the years to the time he was born and how my life was changed forever.
I was 30 when my husband and I decided to give up being a twosome. Much to my husband's chagrin it wasn't long after our decision to start trying that we found out I was pregnant. Despite how quickly it happened, we were both happy and at 6 weeks we shared the news with our parents. That is where the normalcy of my pregnancy basically ended.
At around 8 weeks, I awoke in the middle of the night thinking that I had had a miscarriage. It is an awful feeling. Even if you understand that having a miscarriage usually means that there was something wrong with the fetus, it still doesn't take away the sadness of losing it. So I was sad for a little while. Then I had to go for an ultrasound (and not the cool ones where they squirt jelly on your belly). Joe wasn't allowed to come in with me - a brutal rule given the circumstances. So I had to endure the discomfort and sadness of the situation on my own. It didn't help that the ultrasound technician had left her feelings at home that day either.
A couple days later and I was back at work teaching, trying to act like everything was normal. That 'normalcy' only lasted until the start of my last period class, when the school secretary showed up at my door and said I had an urgent call from my husband. I rushed to the office, having no idea what was wrong. Needless to say I was completely unprepared when Joe told me that the radiologist had looked at my ultrasound results and discovered that I had an ectopic pregnancy. (A what? Basically a pregnancy outside the womb - the important thing being that it can be very serious, even life-threatening) He told me that I needed to get in my car and drive to the hospital where doctors would be waiting to perform emergency surgery.
I told the secretary I had to leave and go to the hospital, then ran out of the building, got into my car and started my drive to the hospital. You can just imagine all of the thoughts running through my head. Up until that point I'd never had surgery, never really had any reason to be in the hospital for an extended period of time. How does one mentally prepare for surgery in such a short period of time?
I can't even tell you the answer to that. When I was about halfway to the hospital I got another call on my cell phone, this time from my midwife. Seems the radiologist was mistaken and they no longer thought I have an ectopic pregnancy, there was no longer an emergency, I no longer had to rush to the hospital for surgery. So, what did I do? Did I turn around and go back to work? The answer to that question is much easier: hell no! I kept driving right on home - after that experience I felt like I had earned the shortened work day!
Shortly after that I was scheduled for another ultrasound, this time with a different lab technician and at a different hospital, still the unpleasant kind though (if you are really curious to know what this is - google 'trans-vaginal ultrasound'). This time though, it was a completely different experience. At one point the technician had to leave the room and I was lying there alone, my song "In Your Eyes" came on the radio (still gives me goosebumps to think about it) and as I looked over at the ultrasound screen, a slow realization began to come over me...I think I'm still pregnant.
It was confirmed by the doctor a short time later. I hadn't had a miscarriage after all. It seems that what I had experienced was early implantation bleeding, a normal part of many women's pregnancies. The doctor also told me that I had a cyst, which was not uncommon for pregnant women and that sometimes these cysts just went away on their own but we would need to keep an eye on it.
So I was pregnant again...or rather still...what a strange sequence of events. So I could go back to enjoying being pregnant again...well sort of...while I never got violently sick during my pregnancy like some of my girlfriends, I did have this slight underlying feeling of nausea for most of it. As for food aversions, I couldn't stand the idea of eating plain chicken (especially if it was just barbecued) and I couldn't even go near a Harvey's restaurant, the smell of their burgers was enough to make me want to toss my cookies - and really, why chance it? And I craved orange juice. No, that's not quite true, it was more like I was obsessed with orange juice - I had to have orange juice in the house at all times. It was the one thing that I would send Joe out to get right away if we ever ran out.
But the normalcy of nausea, food aversions and cravings was completely overshadowed by the ab-normalcy of my pregnancy...
Because of the cyst, I had to go for relatively frequent ultrasounds. While I think it is amazing to have the opportunity to see your little one moving around, to hear their little hearts beating so quickly, to see their limbs and appendages start to take shape...I hated all of the water that you had to drink and then hold onto during it! (I had so many ultrasounds during my pregnancy that by the time I had my last one, I had it down to a science how much water I could get away with drinking).
After one of these ultrasounds, the doctor discovered that the cyst in my uterus was now the size of an orange and because it was positioned right near the baby's head, when the time would come to give birth, one of those things would end up bursting (and no, it wouldn't be the baby's head). So here was the decision that my husband and I had to make: I could have a planned C-section birth and the doctor could remove the cyst after he had removed the baby OR I could have surgery at 24 weeks pregnancy to have the cyst removed and then I could still go on to have a natural birth. The problem with waiting until the baby was born to remove the cyst was that there was no guarantee that in the meantime the cyst wouldn't burst on its own. While I've never had the experience of a cyst bursting before, I have it on good authority that it is extremely painful! So in the end, we opted for the surgery at 24-weeks (that would be about 6 months pregnant).
I was 30 when my husband and I decided to give up being a twosome. Much to my husband's chagrin it wasn't long after our decision to start trying that we found out I was pregnant. Despite how quickly it happened, we were both happy and at 6 weeks we shared the news with our parents. That is where the normalcy of my pregnancy basically ended.
At around 8 weeks, I awoke in the middle of the night thinking that I had had a miscarriage. It is an awful feeling. Even if you understand that having a miscarriage usually means that there was something wrong with the fetus, it still doesn't take away the sadness of losing it. So I was sad for a little while. Then I had to go for an ultrasound (and not the cool ones where they squirt jelly on your belly). Joe wasn't allowed to come in with me - a brutal rule given the circumstances. So I had to endure the discomfort and sadness of the situation on my own. It didn't help that the ultrasound technician had left her feelings at home that day either.
A couple days later and I was back at work teaching, trying to act like everything was normal. That 'normalcy' only lasted until the start of my last period class, when the school secretary showed up at my door and said I had an urgent call from my husband. I rushed to the office, having no idea what was wrong. Needless to say I was completely unprepared when Joe told me that the radiologist had looked at my ultrasound results and discovered that I had an ectopic pregnancy. (A what? Basically a pregnancy outside the womb - the important thing being that it can be very serious, even life-threatening) He told me that I needed to get in my car and drive to the hospital where doctors would be waiting to perform emergency surgery.
I told the secretary I had to leave and go to the hospital, then ran out of the building, got into my car and started my drive to the hospital. You can just imagine all of the thoughts running through my head. Up until that point I'd never had surgery, never really had any reason to be in the hospital for an extended period of time. How does one mentally prepare for surgery in such a short period of time?
I can't even tell you the answer to that. When I was about halfway to the hospital I got another call on my cell phone, this time from my midwife. Seems the radiologist was mistaken and they no longer thought I have an ectopic pregnancy, there was no longer an emergency, I no longer had to rush to the hospital for surgery. So, what did I do? Did I turn around and go back to work? The answer to that question is much easier: hell no! I kept driving right on home - after that experience I felt like I had earned the shortened work day!
Shortly after that I was scheduled for another ultrasound, this time with a different lab technician and at a different hospital, still the unpleasant kind though (if you are really curious to know what this is - google 'trans-vaginal ultrasound'). This time though, it was a completely different experience. At one point the technician had to leave the room and I was lying there alone, my song "In Your Eyes" came on the radio (still gives me goosebumps to think about it) and as I looked over at the ultrasound screen, a slow realization began to come over me...I think I'm still pregnant.
It was confirmed by the doctor a short time later. I hadn't had a miscarriage after all. It seems that what I had experienced was early implantation bleeding, a normal part of many women's pregnancies. The doctor also told me that I had a cyst, which was not uncommon for pregnant women and that sometimes these cysts just went away on their own but we would need to keep an eye on it.
So I was pregnant again...or rather still...what a strange sequence of events. So I could go back to enjoying being pregnant again...well sort of...while I never got violently sick during my pregnancy like some of my girlfriends, I did have this slight underlying feeling of nausea for most of it. As for food aversions, I couldn't stand the idea of eating plain chicken (especially if it was just barbecued) and I couldn't even go near a Harvey's restaurant, the smell of their burgers was enough to make me want to toss my cookies - and really, why chance it? And I craved orange juice. No, that's not quite true, it was more like I was obsessed with orange juice - I had to have orange juice in the house at all times. It was the one thing that I would send Joe out to get right away if we ever ran out.
But the normalcy of nausea, food aversions and cravings was completely overshadowed by the ab-normalcy of my pregnancy...
Because of the cyst, I had to go for relatively frequent ultrasounds. While I think it is amazing to have the opportunity to see your little one moving around, to hear their little hearts beating so quickly, to see their limbs and appendages start to take shape...I hated all of the water that you had to drink and then hold onto during it! (I had so many ultrasounds during my pregnancy that by the time I had my last one, I had it down to a science how much water I could get away with drinking).
After one of these ultrasounds, the doctor discovered that the cyst in my uterus was now the size of an orange and because it was positioned right near the baby's head, when the time would come to give birth, one of those things would end up bursting (and no, it wouldn't be the baby's head). So here was the decision that my husband and I had to make: I could have a planned C-section birth and the doctor could remove the cyst after he had removed the baby OR I could have surgery at 24 weeks pregnancy to have the cyst removed and then I could still go on to have a natural birth. The problem with waiting until the baby was born to remove the cyst was that there was no guarantee that in the meantime the cyst wouldn't burst on its own. While I've never had the experience of a cyst bursting before, I have it on good authority that it is extremely painful! So in the end, we opted for the surgery at 24-weeks (that would be about 6 months pregnant).
This is me about a week before the surgery (wearing my hubby's Arsenal shirt).
To be continued...
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